He hasn't introduced himself below, but either way it tells you a thing or two about this lad.
What am I talking about!? Take a read and find out:
It’s always very
difficult to talk about yourself isn’t it? You try your hardest to
purvey your best traits in a concise and informative way without reeking
of self importance and higher (than
normal) self worth. SO,
to combat this I propose I tell you lies, purely as they will be more
entertaining and so that YOU may come and see the show, meet me in
person, and come to your own evaluation on
who I am.
I was born a whale
and after seeing a performance of ‘Marry Poppins’ I decided to invest in
an umbrella and become a human performer. As you can imagine the
transition between whale and human
was not easy and many of my aquatic friends thought I was acting like a
bit of a porpoise.
My first role
onstage was that of ‘Eric the Eel’ in a play recreating 100m freestyle
heat where Eric Moussambani set a new Equatorial Guanine record of
1:52.72. As I was a former whale the
director saw it fit to cast me as the leading role. Overall the play
received much scrutiny, as the crucial laps purveyed we swam to quickly
and far to elegantly.
It can also be said
that Richard Hammond is my greatest idol. Not because he drives fast
cars for a living, nor the fact that he is punching well above his
weight in the lady department. No.
I idolize Richard Hammond because he lives in Wales. Enough said.
-Benjamin Jackson.
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